If I was Spitfire

In this one I'm going with a relatively underpowered Marvel Comics superheroine known as Spitfire.

Background

Jacqueline Farnsworth was a British aristocrat who derived her powers from a combination of a blood transfusion from the android Human Torch and a vampire bite. The two catalysts theoretically activated latent powers within her. Using her new found super speed she saved the life of the Human Torch and became a member of the Invaders the world war two super team that the android belonged to. She has returned in modern times rejuvenated by another blood transfusion by the Human Torch android but I'm not using that version of her. I'm going with her golden age self. Mostly because now she's displaying vampire traits when she's angry and her power level was greatly enhanced.

Description

Spitfire is a short, athletic, blond woman with blue eyes. She wears a yellow costume with red boots and "gauntlets" as well as a large, bird inspired, red mask and flowing red cape.

Powers and Paraphernalia

Spitfire has superhuman speed able to run at fifty miles per hour and the appropriate adaptions including reflexes, specialized strength, stamina (she can run at her top speed for up to half an hour before tiring and for hours at lesser speeds), agility and durability to go with it. Also according to Marvel's official database when she runs she leaves a trail of "non-damaging fire" however I can't find an actual depiction of that anywhere...not even in Marvel's official database.

If I was Spitfire

I live in a small town. Being able to sprint off at fifty miles per hour for up to half an hour is more than suitable enough to get me anywhere in this town quickly. Now the "for hours at lesser speeds" part also interests me. Being able to run at say eighteen miles per hour (which I assume would be her "cruising" speed) for a number of hours is very handy. I could run to my sister's cottage and back experiencing little to no fatigue. That would be awesome. Okay sure you could get there faster than me by car but I wouldn't care. There are very few things like the thrill of being able to run to everywhere you want to go in a reasonable period of time.

So you might guess for me it would be more about the freedom of the speed then about anything else. I wouldn't become a super hero. I would go about my regular life only I would enjoy it more. I would change things in my life of course. I would explore more than I do. Like I said one of the big draws for me is the "for hours at lesser speeds" aspect of the powers. I might even take up parcour. After all super speed would lend itself to enhanced jumping as well, not to mention the enhanced resistance to impact making it less dangerous to land ridiculously dangerous jumps.

I'm thinking if nothing else I would become a professional athlete. Either boxing or maybe soccer. Mind you if I go the route of marathon runner then I could probably score some really sweet endorsement deals for shoes. Marathon running would let me enjoy the freedom of running far better but it might not satisfy my competitive nature. I like the "in your face" type of competition where you can trash talk while you're competing.

Thank you for reading.

If I had the Greatest American Hero's Super Suit

I'm of course talking about the the famous "magic jammies" given to Ralph Hinkley by altruistic aliens who like to make sure Earth and possibly other planets have a protector.

Background

The suit is a piece of alien technology made by a species far more advanced that humankind whose purposes is to grant its wearer super powers in order to save mankind from itself. It is either handed down directly to the chosen protector such as with Ralph Hinkley or from protector to protector as in the case of Ralph Hinkley to Holley Hathaway.

Description

Despite Ralph Hinkley's insistence that the green aliens only make the suit in one style the suit's appearance has changed from when he wore it to when Holley Hathaway wore it. When Ralph had it, it was red from tunic length shirt to boot with silver or black trim on its cuffs and collar as well as the boots' trimmings around its rim and a second false rim along the top of the foot and heel. Where as Holley's suit is strictly red from unitard to boot without any trimming. Either version comes with a symbol on its chest in red that resembles the Chinese character for "center" or alternately a stylized pair of scissors on a white field defined by a circular black outline. In either versions the belt is silver with silver trim and the same symbol on the buckle as on the chest only colored in silver and black instead.

For either of them the cape is black with red trim. They differ only in their length. Ralph's was short descending to his posterior and Holley's was longer descending to the back of her knees.

Powers

The full extent of the suit's powers are unknown since Ralph lost the instruction book when he first received the suit and lost a second copy of it after trying the first power they looked up in it. I should say that the instruction book seems to be more than just a book. It was a computer that acted as a secondary control mechanism for the suit as well.

The following is the known list of powers granted by the suit: super strength (he saved a space shuttle, they weigh over one hundred tons), super speed (not quite sure what his top speed is), "Invulnerability" (he developed amnesia colliding with a train carrying a radioactive payload so he's not truly invulnerable but was otherwise unharmed), flight (greater than M.A.C.H. 2 since he was able to catch up to and catch missiles fired at a jet carrying his future wife), "Holographic Vision" (a catch all power that permits him to see through time and space for such things as precognition and remote viewing which works especially well when he has something to get "vibes" off of), invisibility, telekinesis, pyrokinesis (at least he can cause things to catch fire), it permits him to perceive and pass through dimensional portals but doesn't seem to be able to generate them himself, life-support for hostile environments that would otherwise be lethal, shrinking (with help of the book, allegedly can be used on a target other than the wearer), voice amplification, communicate with animals, mind control (after exposure to high amount of radiation), super breadth (he has sucked up toxic gasses from a room once).

If I had the Greatest American Hero's Super Suit

If I had the super suit I'd play superhero no ifs ands or buts about it. I'd already have a super style costume and superhero style mission so why not. The green aliens don't allow you to keep it if you aren't doing any good but they are very good at giving you second chances at keeping the suit if you make mistakes. I'd also study that instruction manual backwards and forwards before anything else so I had a good idea of how to use the suit properly then on top of that I'd train with it regularly to make sure controlling the suit and it's powers are second nature to me.

Since the aliens require that the suit user also have an adviser to help him or her decide how to use the suit properly I'd make sure to pair up with a former international criminal seeking to redeem him or herself. They could give me the best insights into how the criminal mind works and give me a better idea of how everything is connected in the world and who the major players are. With a weapon as powerful as the suit you don't want to be making errors on who you're stopping or inadvertently help the wrong people. Like I said in the Thor entry I'm not above taking out those who think the lives of others are theirs to sacrifice to fulfill their greedy agendas. I just like to make sure I have the right people first.

I would mainly use the super suit to intervene on the behalf of civilians during wars and to prevent man made disasters. As part of that I would go on a daily patrol which would consist of some flights off planet to see if I have to protect the Earth from extraterrestrial threats including not only aliens but asteroids and other cosmic debris as well.

I'd make sure to keep myself in top shape. It wouldn't do for me to drop dead of a heart attack while performing my heroics. Also if I'm going to wear such a tight fitting body suit I'd might as well look good in it. Of course saying that I'd do most of my heroic work invisible and most likely by flying into range and using a combination of telekinesis and the holographic vision powers to manipulate the scene as subtly as possible so no one would know I was manipulating the situation.

If I was Thor

Reading through a list of Golden Age super heroes I came across a character called Thor. Not to be confused with the Marvel Comics' Thor.

Background

Grant Farrel was a laid back homebody type of a guy who had no need to engage in "foolhardy adventuring" just for the sake of foolhardy adventuring. This annoyed his girlfriend Glenda who complains about it through out the whole date they have in the first issue of the comic book and that he sucks and eventually she ditches him for a much more charismatic and "daring" man. Grant goes home and contemplates killing himself because his life sucks. Earlier Thor god of thunder and Ruler of Valhalla was talking with a fellow god saying that the world needs a champion and that he has decided to bestow his power on a worthy mortal to be a champion to his fellow mortals. I assume he's moved by Grant's plight and appears to him telling him he has work for him to do and whisks him off to Valhalla to train him in the use of Thor's powers and his magic hammer.

Note:

Unlike Superman who spent years trying to win over Lois Lane who was in love with his super identity, when Glenda tells him he'll never be like the godly man she met, Grant tells her, "That's too bad" and breaks up with her.

Description

When Grant Farrel transforms into Thor he becomes a tall (at least a head taller than anyone else in panel with him) and powerful looking, long haired, blond (he was blond to begin with) man dressed in a manor similar to his benefactor except where the god Thor's costume is red Grant's is blue. The costume consists of a metal helmet with disks of each side possibly representing ram horns as well as a cape and shorts and knee high boots. They would both fit in at a gay pride parade especially the god Thor with his handle bar mustache.

Powers and Paraphernalia

Thor the god of thunder gave Grant Farrel the power to transform into a powerful version of himself with the Thunder God's powers. According to the comic book this means he has super strength, the power of flight, the ability to project what I assume is lightning and the ability to control the weather. To travel to Valhalla or to cover great distances quickly he rides on a lightning bolt. He is depicted as surviving unharmed from beeing hit by multiple explosive shells fired from anti-aircraft guns unlike the spies he was bringing to justice (however it should be noted the guns belonged to their side of the conflict so one could consider it a form of ironic justice). One would assume that Grant is a skilled hand to hand combatant since I can't imagine that the God of Thunder, greatest of Asgard's warrior's would let someone go out in the world using his name and hammer without making sure he could fight well first.

Thor also gave him the use of his magical hammer Mjolnir. This is the greatest weapon known to the Asgardians. It's two most notable features is its immense weight and indestructibility. Mixed with Thor's super human strength it allows him to do such things as destroy three tanks with one throw. Another important feature of the hammer is that it returns to Thor's hand after he throws it. I haven't read enough about this character yet to know if like the mythological one his hammer never misses its target.

If I was Thor

Well what does one do with the power of a God, especially if it's the power of The God of Thunder? You become the wealthiest mercenary in the world. I'll explain, not only are you physically more powerful than virtually any weapon known to man, you have divine weather control. Think about this. Bad weather grounds jets and prevents travel as well as can disturb communication. Think about hurricane Katrina or the Ice Storm of 98. They destroyed communications and homes and caused those who weren't killed to have to huddle together in disaster shelters. Now imagine that kind of weather under someones control and that can be summoned at their whim. Canada, Russia and the United States are geographically huge countries but imagine the rest of the countries in the world that aren't. One consciously guided hurricane could wipe one out completely. Not to mention how a relentless thunderstorm can wipe out an electrical grid permanently. We haven't even gotten to the raw physical powers yet and already we can hold the world ransom with Thor's powers.

Now that doesn't mean I would hold the world ransom it just means if you want to be a power in the world you'll have to hire me. The price of course would be whatever I wanted it to be. It wouldn't be that hard to convince me to give a substantial discount to a country who is unjustly attacked. The big problem for me is that it wouldn't be long before politicians who call for war without care for those who they send in to battle or who they kill realize that despite my power level I'm by no means a weapon of mass destruction. I prefer only to strike at those who I believe are truly guilty. This mean they can get a lot done before I sort it all out and if worse comes to worse they can hide behind human shields. It doesn't mean that their personal assets are so safe. I can also justify assassinating someone intent on starting an unjust war. For me it's not right for someone to get away with their life while they destroy the lives of hundreds of thousands.

The thing is I'm no monster and I prefer to be the champion of those in need rather than just some person filled with "righteous rage" killing everyone who they think deserves death because they don't bother to find out who is actually responsible for the wrong that needs to be righted. To that end while breaking those unfortunate eggs to make the omlette that is Justice I would build myself a network of informants to make sure that when I use my powers on a grand scale that I know full well what is going on and that I don't break anymore of the "eggs". With that level of power you carry a lot of regrets with you over the costly mistakes you make while finding out how to function in the world. I may do more than build a network of informants. I might actually cultivate a small trusted group of advisers. The world doesn't lack for people who want to do the right thing and have already set up resources that would be valuable for me to make use of to that end.

Thanks for reading.

If had the Arabian Knight's Equipment

For this one I'm going with the scimitar, carpet and sash belonging to Marvel Comics original Arabian Knight Abdul Qamar.

Background

The first known appearance of these items was in the thirteenth century when Abdul's ancestor had possession of them. Where they actually come from or who created them doesn't seem to have ever been established. They could possibly have different creators and have been acquired individually. Since they have been used by people other then those related to Abdul it might be safe to assume that whoever created them didn't create them specifically for the Qamar family.

Description

The scimitar is your standard looking "arabic" scimitar made of some kind of golden colored metal. The pommel seems to resemble the head of a bird with rubies for eyes.

The carpet seems to be a plain red carpet with tassels all the around it. It's large enough for two adults to stand on comfortably.

The sash is four feet long and is as red and featureless as the carpet. It is typically worn as a belt.

Powers

Before going into each item individually I would say that a trait common to all three items is that they bond with their user until either he or she is dead or until they relinquish possession of them.

The Scimitar

It is indestructible and is capable of slicing trough steel, stone and other equally durable materials. It can project bolts of force whose intensity is mentally determined by it's wielder. It's maximum amount of force is unspecified but has proven strong enough to blast through stone walls. Possibly as a security measure anyone who does not have it's owner's permission to touch it will find themselves struck by a discharge of magical force. It is especially harmful to magical beings.

The Carpet

It is also indestructible. It and can fly under its owner's mental command. Its top rate of speed and maximum altitude are unknown. Since the Arabian Knight wore no special protection when he rode it he kept his speed to no greater than ninety miles per hour and never flew higher than twenty thousand feet. Aside from a being a great way to get around it can be mentally directed at a distance and used as a weapon. It can be used to smother someone, strike like a whip or even roll up and caused to bludgeon a target into submission.

The Sash

Being made from a material similar to the carpet it is also indestructible. Also like the carpet it is animated by mental command but is unable to fly. It is however a handy tool. Unlike the carpet it can be commanded to stretch out to ten times its normal length. It can be used to ensnare targets and bind them. It is can also be commanded to function as an effective whip and to assist in climbing. Like the scimitar it is especially effective against magical creatures so much so that it can free a person it is wrapped around from possession by a magical creature.

If I Had The Arabian Knight's Equipment

In all honesty this combination of magical artifacts runs the risk of making me really lazy. The sash alone would corrupt me. It would make a great set of extra arms and hands or even feet and legs. I'd wear it all the time. I'd be more than pleased to have only it. A forty foot reach is really handy mind you I would wear it as a belt and end up with the ends of it being two arms with up to roughly an eighteen foot reach each. Where I live now that's long enough for me to use it to get anything I want in the kitchen and living room while sitting in the comfort of my recliner.

On the other hand I would also use it in ways that would keep me in really good shape. If nothing else I would use it for resistance training. I would cause the sash to provide resistance to my movements not unlike walking with weights or using a bow flex. Also it would be fun to use it to climb trees, rocks and buildings. I bet I could use it to throw snow balls in the winter.

Since I don't have a car so the magic carpet would make a great everyday vehicle. Mind you I'd be as stealthy as possible about it since I wouldn't want everyone to know that I have one. I would definitely use it to get to places I couldn't get to climbing around with the sash.

As a twist and in order to keep my flying carpet as secret as possible I would use it as the "engine" for other means or transportation. Well mostly I would make shells and pretend they are customized "super vehicles" like Nite Owl from the Watchmen's owl ship. Mind you I say that 'cause I'm watching that movie while I write this. What I originally though of doing was making a flying canoe with it or a go-cart or maybe even a carpet propelled carriage so I could ride inside protected from the elements. It gets cold up here in Northern Ontario. It would also be nice to have a place for cargo. I not sure what the carpets maximum payload is. I haven't been able to find that information anywhere. Now that I think of it I might use the carpet in conjunction with my recliner and the sash and be very,very super lazy. "What? What I want is out of reach or my sash. Carpet bring me closer." Yep super lazy.

Now for the sword. I seem to have a certain knack for fighting but I'm by no means a violent person. Although I do have my moments of "Do your worst 'cause when your done it's my turn and I guarantee you you're not gonna like it." There will however come a time when someone does something stupid and is going to need a beat down. Mostly however the sword would end up being a useful tool. If it can cut through stone and metal I can sure use it to chop down trees and split wood for fire at my sister's cottage. Much to a lot of weapon collectors' dismay I would use it to carve images into the abundance of rock faces that dominate the area I live in.

I think the sword would also be great for landscaping. When you can project bolts of magical force with controlled intensities well you have the means to level ground and pulverize stones into pebbles. Big boulders that are buried beneath the ground are huge nuisances when your trying to dig a basement or a swimming pool or even trying to level out ground.

Mind you the sword is designed to fight off magical, evil threats so there is a good chance that at some point I might be sought out by such things. I mean if the sword, sash and carpet existed then I'm sure the things they were created to battle would too. I won't lie one of the first things I would do upon getting the sword is take sword fighting lessons. I'm not one to own a weapon and not know how to use it properly.

If I had Wonder Man's ring

I thought as part of my "if I was" blog I would try "if I had" as well. I thought about this because I find there are a number of super beings who owe their "superness" to magical artifacts or super scientific devices that can be used by anyone to be super heroes or villains. The person using them are often irrelevant. Alan Scott just happen to be at the right place at the right time when he recieved possession of his magical lantern that made him the original Green Lantern. Ralph Hinkley "the Greatest American Hero" was virtually inept at using his alien super suit and ultimately it was taken away from him and given to someone else just as previous wearers of the suit had it taken away. Often enemies made better use of the devices when they stole them from the hero or villain who were their primary users. Qwen Tenneson proved better at using the Omnitrix then Ben Ten did when she possessed it in an alternate reality episode. So for the next few entries and in future ones I'm going to write about what I would do if I had these devices.

Background

Nothing is known about the history of the ring before coming into the possession of Fred Carson who acquired it from a Tibetan Yogi. I'll assume the Yogi in all his enlightenment had the means to create such a magical artifact. Wonder Man was canceled after one issue for legal reasons so there was no chance for the writers to really explore the origins of the ring.

Description

Wonder Man's magical ring is a simple possibly golden ring with an "H" on it's face. Possibly the "H" stands for Hercules. I say that since the Yogi who gave him the ring said it was a symbol of his "Herculean" might.

Powers

According to the Yogi the ring makes it's wearer the strongest human on Earth and impervious. So in other words superhuman strength and invulnerability. Wonder Man has been depicted as taking multiple gun shots in the back without flinching or even seeming to be bothered that he was being shot. Although not proof of invulnerability he is depicted as standing his ground and catching shells fired at him from siege guns and throwing them back at the guns themselves to destroy them. Siege guns are used to destroy fortifications such as city walls and fortresses. Basically the forerunners to missiles and aerial bombardment.

In terms of super strength the ring has permitted Wonder Man to not only be able to lift the aforementioned siege guns but tearing them out of their metal bases as well. He is also clearly depicted as having no problem tearing through metal bars and doors. He is also shown carrying three large shed size wooden crates full of food piled one on top of the other out of a warehouse. It also makes his legs strong enough to make "easy strides" of five hundred feet.

Although it isn't stated that the ring bestows it's wearer with super human speed and reflexes, as mentioned earlier Wonder Man was capable of repeatedly catching shells fired at him from siege guns. I believe that means he could track the trajectory of and catch objects moving at about five hundred miles per hour. That as far as I know would require super human reflexes not to mention the strength and resistance to harm it takes to catch such a thing with one hand like he did.

Also it doesn't state that the ring enhances his coordination but he is depicted as being very agile, able to leap up and catch a falling bomb with little effort and quickly hit a target a thousand feet away with it.

If I had Wonder Man's Magic Ring

Hmm... What would I do with the ring? Well if I'm going to be the strongest human and "impervious" I'm going to do a lot of things. In all seriousness given the raw amount of physical power and resistance to conventional military weapons I would join an international aid organization. If nothing else aid organizations need protection in war zones or when dealing with reluctant nations. Having written that I just remembered that Wonder Man did that same thing in his one and only issue. He defeated the bad guy General Attilla and took the food he was hoarding and shared it with the oppressed citizenry.

I might even start my own organization. Mind you I would have to find a way to fund it. I have no gift for fundraising. I would have to sell my "super" services as a courier specializing in getting packages in and out of dangerous or difficult to reach areas. I may have to become a mercenary to fund my aid organization. A classic juxtaposition to be sure. War for peace. Death for life.

Now that I think about it. Why not become a professional adventurer. Get into the employ of a wealthy individual and go on all kinds of adventures and get paid for it. That would be great. Traipsing my ass all over the world and getting into all kinds of trouble. Yep that's what I would do. I would become a professional adventurer.

If I was Darkoth the Death Demon

Background

Desmond Pitt was a military test pilot alongside Benjamin Grimm A.K.A. the Thing as well a good friend of his. He eventually took it upon himself to infiltrate Dr. Doom's agents who were infiltrating NASA. When his wife died he became careless and was found out. A show was made of executing him but instead of killing him Dr. Doom altered him through robotic and chemical means to resemble a purple demon that legend said was terrifying the country side. To finish the illusion Dr. Doom wiped (suppressed?) Desmond's memories and made him believe he was the demon. He later recovered his memories and tried to redeem himself. Usually he would die and some evil villain would resurrect him and he would ultimately ruin their plans by not being a good slave.

Powers and Paraphernalia

Darkoth is a cyborg/mutate that has superhuman strength, stamina, durability, agility, speed and reflexes. He can lift fifty tons from the ground up over his head at arms length. He can exert himself up to twenty four hours before he starts getting tired. He can survive re-entry or heavy artillery without harm among other forms of severe damage such as the coldness of outer space. His agility and his reflexes are "greater than the finest human athlete" which is wikia's standard description of anyone with super human attributes who exact level are ambiguous. He's stated as being able to run at up to sixty miles per hour but I would think with his phenomenal strength he could run faster than that.

Aside from just having an enhanced body he possesses a number of added "features" to make him appear demonic. He has metal talons that like his skeleton are made of Promethium (an enchanted steel-like metal originating from the magical dimension known as "Otherplace") that can tear through substances as durable as the Thing's rocky skin and can be equipped with poison that renders its victim unconscious. He has fangs as well as a reptilian tail that not only serves to enhance his balance (as tails are want to do) it is also a usable bludgeoning weapon or for constricting a victim. His most notable "demonic" alteration is his "Fire Horns" which are actually antennas that can absorb mental energy from an opponent if they are within fifty feet of him. When they are fully charged he can use this energy to project a beam that can be used to produce four different effects: 1) heat that can melt several tons of metal in seconds; 2) project enough kinetic force to knock the Thing who weights five hundred pounds back several yards (I would think it could probably do more than that); 3) cause temporary insanity; 4) cause fatigue in a target. He only uses his "horns" as a last resort so it's speculated that they are costly to use energy-wise but I speculate that it either takes a long time to charge them or he just prefers hand to hand combat to long range energy projection.

When the Alchemist Diablo used him as a pawn he used magical potions to increase his powers giving him the ability to become intangible for limited periods of time permitting him to pass through solid objects as well as causing him to grow a pair or bat-like wings on his ankles reminiscent of the feathery wings that the Submariner A.K.A. Prince Namor possesses on his ankles that permit him to fly. It is said that this gives him limited flight powers. I'm not sure what that means but he used them to fly to a military base instead of running there. So that combined with the idea that they are reminiscent of Namor's wings I'm going to speculate that he could fly at least as well as Namor was originally stated to be able to. Meaning he could fly at up forty miles per hour for up to an hour. If I'm right then like Namor he could also fly carrying up to two tons of weight with him but at a reduced speed and for shorter periods of time.

Finally When the demon Mephisto used him as a pawn he developed the ability to shape change. More specifically the ability to alter his body permitting him to do things like grow tentacles or grow a mouth in his chest that he used to eat the demon S'ym. I never read the story where he developed the ability but I assume he couldn't use the ability to change his coloring or to make himself appear as he did before he was transformed. Frankly I would just as soon ignore this aspect of his continuity. Although like I said I've never read the story where it happened it seems like a classic example of a writer having a very bad idea of what to do with an intriguing but obscure character. Also I would speculate that since Thor purified him of Mephisto's dark powers one would assume that he would have lost the power that was acquired as a consequence of being exposed to said dark powers.

So if I had Darkoth's powers and assuming also his appearance I would have a lot of time on my hands since I doubt mixing with "normal" society probably wouldn't be an option. So there is the strong possibility that I may function as a "guardian demon". Acting in the shadows to help people who are in need. There is also the possibility that I may visit different war zones and influence the outcomes. When you can either rend, melt or throw tanks and can survive being struck by most conventional military weapons unharmed, war zones are a fun place to play and to make a difference. Plus if a "demon" suddenly showed up during armed conflicts it may cause some otherwise good "Christian" nations to think twice about engaging in conflicts for less than "holy reasons". Hopefully other "religious" countries might feel the same way. However since waging war and being Christian are suppose to be mutually exclusive concepts I won't hold my breadth.

Yep so I guess I would use my appearance as well as my powers to effect change in he world. I'm not sure how well that would work out. I mean I'm sure not everyone would believe I was an actual demon and most people would assume I was just some CGI animation added to news footage as a hoax. It would be a lot of work on my behalf but then when I think about it what else would I have to do? Looking like a purple demon would most likely have cleared my social calendar anyway.

Thanks for reading.

Note: I had to go to a lot of different websites and look through different comic books to get a complete list of Darkoth's powers and history. No one source had the complete picture.

If I was Gorilla Grodd

Grodd of Gorilla City. A hidden city invisible to the rest of the world populated by super intelligent apes (well apes that seem a lot smarter than humans anyway). He's one of the Flashes greatest villains as far as I'm concerned. He developed his impressive "super ape" powers from exposure to a meteor that fell to Earth. However even before getting his super ape powers he's been trying to find a way to take over Gorilla city from it's ruler Solivar who had super intelligence and impressive psychic powers. The Flash has thwarted his attempts many times often if not exclusively with the help of others. He has also expanded his ambitions to taking over the world. He was once the mayor of Central City as part of one his world dominating plots. He remains to this day as far as I know still busy trying to take over the world.

He has super ape strength and agility as well as super ape durability. Although his full strength is never fully depicted he has been shown throwing a taxi cab through a third story window of a brownstone building and the cab kept going out through the top of the building without showing any signs of slowing. It is however known that he is nowhere near as strong as Wonder Woman or Superman but he has managed to hold his own in a fight with Kalibak who is said to be almost as strong as Superman although it is easily noticeable in the fight that he was clearly weaker than Kalibak.

The powers that Grodd seems to covet the most is his "Force of Mind" powers. Force of Mind powers seem to be essentially a combination of telepathy and telekinesis. He can not only read and send thoughts but he has proven able to take over the minds of every one in gorilla city. He can even use his powers to transfer his mind into another body. He has cheated death several time that way. He can also use his telepathic abilities to put illusions in people's minds that can for example cause them to relive painful moments from there past. If worst comes to worst he can always unleash a "psychic blast" on a target which aside from being very painful can knock a person out or even paralyze them. I'm assuming he can probably kill someone with it as well.

On the telekinetic side of the force of mind powers not only can he move immense amounts of matter by force of will alone he can alter it to suit his needs. Although to be honest I've only ever seen him use it to alter the bodies he possesses so they become a copy of his original body including his super ape physical powers. I don't know if he can use it to transmute matter like say turning lead into gold. It's mentioned that he can but I haven't found a reference to it anywhere so it may just have been a one shot occurrence that happens from time to time in comic books. However being able to reshape a human body into an ape body is pretty impressive. That would mean he can control matter on a molecular level and has the intelligence enough to know how to transform it in such a complex way. Conversely it could mean that he did it intuitively and didn't really know how to do it consciously. Unfortunately since I've never seen him do it to anyone else I can only assume that it's actually an intuitive ability.

It's said that he has enhanced senses but I can't find any references to what they might be. I've never read a story with him in it that shows him using them. On the other hand there is plenty of evidence to show he has at least a genius level intellect.

If I had Gorilla Grodd's powers and were criminally inclined I'd try and take over the world. I'd slowly use my mind powers to condition people into wanting me as their leader. I'd reinforce it with the occasional benevolent act as well as using my super human physical attributes to impress people. I would keep my mind control abilities a secret using them instead to make me seem charismatic and insightful.

After I've secured myself a strong legion of followers who I no longer needed to mind control then I'd start my bid to take over the world. I may not do it out in the open by becoming a politician. I may just get enough followers so that I influence law makers around the world so I can get whatever I want from the world at my discretion. When I think about it I may start my journey joining some kind of "secret society" and use my mind control on them to use the power structures they already have in place. It would make my job a hell of a lot easier. Mind you with mind control and body switching as an option I could really make use of all the "big players" to do what I want whenever I want without having to start my own organization. Hmmm. The possibilities. I would like I said initially do it slowly. The problem with Grodd as far as I understand it is that he always wants control "yesterday" not really giving himself a chance to truly entrench himself in the minds and hearts of people. He seems to prefer the show of force to the subtlety of manipulation. That's not to say that he hasn't been manipulative and patient before he just hasn't been patient enough to make sure he had a good base of power without needing to resort to mind control.

You know I may even adopt a super hero identity to create a cult of personality. With his immense strength and durability I could pretend to be a super strong man and "fight crime". With connections to a sufficiently influential secret society I could pull it off without much expected government interference. Heck I could "influence" mayors and police commissioners that a deputized super hero is to their advantage. *Insert evil laugh*

Thanks for reading.

If I was the Rhino

Aleksei Sytsevich the Rhino is a Spider-Man villain who was originally a Russian spy who was mentally conditioned so he could pass as an American under the falsified identity of Alexander O'Hirn. Along with the mental conditioning to pass as an American he underwent several months of life threatening chemical and radiation treatment to give him super strength and durability. After that he had armor "skin" patterned after a rhinoceros (including horns) bonded to his skin. After coming to America he broke ties with his benefactors and went on his own crime spree. He's been repeatedly defeated by Spider-Man as well as the incredible Hulk. He's undergone many enhancements to his powers and his armor through out his career even having been turned into a human-like rhinoceros at one point. The main thrust of his career has been to be hired muscle although he has had his own schemes, unfortunately he's not the most brilliant man in the world so they often fail.

His powers consists of super human strength stamina and durability. He's strong enough to lift seventy five tons from the ground to up over his end with his arms fully extended. With his armour on he can lift eighty five tons that way. His stamina permits him to exert himself for up to 24 hours before tiring. His durability with out the armour he wears is hard to say since he is always wearing his armor when in action. He can run at up to one hundred miles per hour but I would think with his strength he could probably run faster.

His armor is highly resistant to damage including anti-tank weaponry as well as acid and temperature extremes ranging from minus fifty degrees Fahrenheit to plus one thousand degrees Fahrenheit. The horns on his armor can puncture two inch thick steel plating.

His main weakness is that once he begins charging he's not very manoeuvrable. He can't change the direction of his charge very quickly permitting a quick or alert enough person to dodge him.

If I were the Rhino and criminally inclined I would definitely get into the "protection" racket. You know the old "It would sure be a shame if something were to happen to your fine establishment. I'll gladly protect your place for a fee." kind of thing. Should the police get any ideas like arresting me well..."It would be a shame if something should happen to this nice police station you have here. Not to mention all these nice shinny cars you have." As long as everyone paid up everyone would be fine. God forbid things go hard for me to handle, well then I would hire myself out as "muscle" for a more clever criminal than myself. Mind you I'm sure I would be approached by some organized crime family long before I'd have to worry about the police coming up with a way to stop me. You know given my personality even if I was criminally inclined I'd most likely make a deal with the police that if they leave me alone I'd send them my criminal rivals so at least they can apprehend them if they can't apprehend me.

Thanks for reading.

If I was Spider-Man...2099

Yep Spider-Man 2099 as in the year 2099. So he just really goes by Spider-Man. Anyway Miguel O'Hara was a gifted geneticist working for the Alchamax Corporation. He developed his powers when he tried to do a "genetic cleansing" to free himself from the influence of the drug called "Rapture" which bonds itself to the user D.N.A. During the process the CEO of Alchamax tried sabotage the attempt by adding spider D.N.A. to the mix. The result of the sabotage is that Miguel gained "spider powers" instead of becoming a "spider freak". At first his intention was to take down Alchamax for the crimes they were committing which led him to helping other people which basically led him to feeling responsible for helping people in general and hence a superhero was born. I will however add that Alchamax's evil reach was so complete that basically every super villain he fought had some connection to the megacorporation.

Spider-Man 2099 is a lot like the mainstream Spider-Man. He has super strength, agility, stamina, durability, healing, reflexes and speed equivalent to his mainstream counterpart. Beyond that his powers are different. Firstly unlike Spider-Man who uses web shooter that he created, Spider-Man 2099 has spinerettes in his arms that let him shoot webs (real spider's have them in their abdomen). Also instead of a "spider sense" he has super hearing and super sight which not only allows him to see further and with clearer detail both during the day and at night but most notably give his "accelerated" vision which essentially lets him see the world in "slow motion". He climbs and clings to objects by the use of retractable claws which incidentally are handy weapons that can rend most building materials. A power unique to him is that he has fangs that he can use to inject paralytic venom into an opponent. He first discovered the power fighting a more powerful super human. In frustration he decided to bite him with his fangs only to find he paralyzed the guy.

His costume is made from "unstable molecules" essentially a durable material invented by Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four that adopts the properties of the person wearing it. Essentially it was a good explanation for why superhero costumes could survive being used by super humans whose powers should destroy the clothes they're wearing. He actually bought the costume for a Day of the Dead celebration years earlier. In the future the material is commercially available apparently. He bought it so he would have a costume that would survive his "epic" partying. After an encounter with a "Thorite" in the future some people await the return of the Norse god of thunder Thor who was a superhero during the "Heroic Age" of the twentieth century. He was flying by on a small hang glider spreading the word of Thor. They collided and he let Miguel keep some of the material that made up the now broken hang glider. The material apparently expels "anti-gravitons" which in this case lets Spider-Man 2099 glide in the air for short distances. Really handy when falling over opened spaces.

So what would I do if I had Spider-Man 2099's power. Well I'd become a cop. I could chase down criminals easily and when I did catch them I would have ways of subduing them without having to resort to weapons by either holding them with super strength or with webbing or of course with the paralysis venom. If I did resort to my weapon my superior reflexes would permit me to draw first and with superior accuracy mixed with my enhanced agility.

Of course enhanced senses like I said before are great for being a detective. So I could use my enhanced vision and hearing to scrutinize the scene of a crime or even to zero in on a crime being committed far quicker than a normal cop would. I would routinely offer myself in "hostage exchanges" and would go in unarmed without a complaint, having claws means I'm always armed anyway not mention the enhanced attributes. Also super strength and agility means that just about anything is a great improvised weapon.

Aside from being a cop having a thorough over all physical enhancement would of course change my life. I would be a far more physical person. It's not to say that I'm not a physical person at least in the sense that I like to be "hands on" with reality and I love to go exploring. I do go out of my way to climb things as they present themselves. However with super human strength, stamina and agility moving around becomes that much more pleasant not to mention using webbing to get around. The opportunity for exploration increases dramatically. Where I live you have to watch out for wild animals like black bears (the assholes of the bruin world), wolves, coyotes, mountain lions, etc. With Spider-Man 2099's powers they're not as much a concern anymore so exploring isn't as dangerous.

Now I think about it, given my artistic nature I would make a lot of web related works of art. I'm not sure how long it takes for the webbing to dissolve so I would probably take a lot of pictures of my "web work" and sell them as prints.

Thanks for reading.

If I was Sasquatch

So I'm talking about Sasquatch the comic book character from Marvel Comics. He's one of those characters that have a special place in my heart. Anyway Dr. Walter Langkowsky was a former college roommate of Bruce Banner the alter ego of the incredible Hulk. Although a physics major he wasn't your classic nerd. At one point he even played professional football for the Green Bay Packers. However he ultimately became a teacher and a renowned physicist. Inspired by what happened to Bruce Banner he performed gamma radiation experiments in the Arctic. For a long time he believed he had managed to succeed at reproducing what happened to create the Hulk. He developed the power to transform in a gigantic, orange ape-like creature with a power level similar to the Hulk. He was recruited to join the Canadian super team Alpha Flight. He was member for years before the truth of what happened in the Arctic during his experiments. He hadn't gained the power to become a gamma powered super strong man instead what happened is that for a fraction of a second he opened a portal to the Realm of the Great Beasts and one of them Tanaraq invaded his body. Tanaraq eventually took over but was killed by his teammate the demigoddess Snowbird who was transformed into a white version of Sasquatch and ripped out his heart.

Later in an ironic twist of fate Walter's spirit took possession of Snow Bird's remains and came back to life as a female version of himself that could transform into the white Sasquatch. Not too long after Snow Bird's spirit altered the body so Walter had a male body once again and the Sasquatch body was once more the original orange color. Since then he's been a member of the various incarnations of Alpha Flight and mostly spent that time as the team's leader.

As for his powers he can transform into an one ton, ten feet tall, orange colored man ape. This man ape form has super human strength strong enough to lift a DC 10 (take off weight of over 200+ tons) while its jets are on and throw it back one thousand feet against the thrust which he did in his first appearance. In his man ape form he can survive high calibre machine gun fire (you know the vehicle mounted kind because their too heavy to carry) not to mention punches from the incredible Hulk. In that form he can function at maximum exertion for several hours. The form is also incredibly agile and can leap long distance although not as far as the Hulk. It also has super human healing abilities but obviously not super enough to help him survive his heart being removed.

So if I was Sasquatch I would first off take pictures and videos of myself in man ape form and sell them as proof of Big Foot's existence. I would probably become a renown expert on the subject. That of course would be to fund my existence and possibly a non-profit organization dedicated to finding people lost in the woods. I would also spend time dealing with poachers. There's a good chance I'd end up some kind of "woodland protector". I may take a few opportunities to go in to a city and play King Kong, climb up some buildings and scare the snot out of people. It might be fun. I think for the most part I'd spend my time playing in the wilderness testing myself against nature and watching over the people and animals who spend their time there.

Thank for reading.