Sunday, June 13, 2010

If I was Sasquatch

So I'm talking about Sasquatch the comic book character from Marvel Comics. He's one of those characters that have a special place in my heart. Anyway Dr. Walter Langkowsky was a former college roommate of Bruce Banner the alter ego of the incredible Hulk. Although a physics major he wasn't your classic nerd. At one point he even played professional football for the Green Bay Packers. However he ultimately became a teacher and a renowned physicist. Inspired by what happened to Bruce Banner he performed gamma radiation experiments in the Arctic. For a long time he believed he had managed to succeed at reproducing what happened to create the Hulk. He developed the power to transform in a gigantic, orange ape-like creature with a power level similar to the Hulk. He was recruited to join the Canadian super team Alpha Flight. He was member for years before the truth of what happened in the Arctic during his experiments. He hadn't gained the power to become a gamma powered super strong man instead what happened is that for a fraction of a second he opened a portal to the Realm of the Great Beasts and one of them Tanaraq invaded his body. Tanaraq eventually took over but was killed by his teammate the demigoddess Snowbird who was transformed into a white version of Sasquatch and ripped out his heart.

Later in an ironic twist of fate Walter's spirit took possession of Snow Bird's remains and came back to life as a female version of himself that could transform into the white Sasquatch. Not too long after Snow Bird's spirit altered the body so Walter had a male body once again and the Sasquatch body was once more the original orange color. Since then he's been a member of the various incarnations of Alpha Flight and mostly spent that time as the team's leader.

As for his powers he can transform into an one ton, ten feet tall, orange colored man ape. This man ape form has super human strength strong enough to lift a DC 10 (take off weight of over 200+ tons) while its jets are on and throw it back one thousand feet against the thrust which he did in his first appearance. In his man ape form he can survive high calibre machine gun fire (you know the vehicle mounted kind because their too heavy to carry) not to mention punches from the incredible Hulk. In that form he can function at maximum exertion for several hours. The form is also incredibly agile and can leap long distance although not as far as the Hulk. It also has super human healing abilities but obviously not super enough to help him survive his heart being removed.

So if I was Sasquatch I would first off take pictures and videos of myself in man ape form and sell them as proof of Big Foot's existence. I would probably become a renown expert on the subject. That of course would be to fund my existence and possibly a non-profit organization dedicated to finding people lost in the woods. I would also spend time dealing with poachers. There's a good chance I'd end up some kind of "woodland protector". I may take a few opportunities to go in to a city and play King Kong, climb up some buildings and scare the snot out of people. It might be fun. I think for the most part I'd spend my time playing in the wilderness testing myself against nature and watching over the people and animals who spend their time there.

Thank for reading.

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