If I was Birdman

Background

Birdman's exact background is debatable. All that is known for sure is that Ray Randal (Birdman) was given superpowers to be the Egyptian god Ra's emissary on Earth. If nothing else that meant he had to fight for justice as a superhero. How he got his costume and when exactly he became a secret agent seems unspecified.

Description

Birdman has your typical superhero built and has large blueish feathered wings. He wears a golden bodysuit with black trunks, a blue cowl with black mask, a yellow helmet and collar with red and black wristbands, ankle bands and belt.

Powers

Birdman's most obvious power is derived from his wings. He can fly but he doesn't need to flap his wings to do so. They seem more to be a conduit for whatever force permits him to fly. He seems easily able to keep up and give chase to highly advanced flying vehicles and is agile enough to evade fire in arial combat.

Essentially his power is to absorb and use solar energy. Aside from powering his wings it also grants him "super might" which essentially means super strength and durability but can refer to an overall enhancement of his physical attributes. He's at least strong enough to bind a circus strongman in his own barbell and can throw a slagged metal cannon. He's stronger than Birdboy and Birdboy can easily break out of chains as long as he is charged with solar energy. As far as durability goes he can readily survive being hit by heavy weapons artillery but not without being momentarily stunned or knocked unconscious by it. Even if he is injured like most super beings with super strength he recovers quickly enough, in his case possibly due to exposure to sunlight healing him.

Aside from physical enhancement solar energy permits him to project solar rays from his hands that he can use as raw heat or as light capable of blinding a target. The rays are powerful enough to completely destroy metal cannons and other forms of advanced military weapons and vehicles. He can also create solar shields which are also centred around his hand. He can use them as a personal shield or make them at least big enough to protect half a dozen people. The shields are far better at resisting heavy weapon artillery than his body is. Since they offer superior protection they're usually his main form of protection. They are often either a transparent, glowing red or invisible until struck.

Birdman's weakness is that he requires solar energy to use his powers. Although he does actually store solar energy in his body he requires exposure to sunlight to recharge himself. If he's in a room or similar place cut off from sunlight he only has what energy he has stored in his body to power himself. Typically that means his powers quickly dwindled to normal human levels during combat. Conceivably he can preserve his power by functioning at a normal human level. All the instances where I've seen him trapped without sunlight were after taxing combat or if drained of his solar energy by a machine.

If I was Birdman

If nothing else I'd have to figure out my wardrobe. What do you wear when you have wings? Of course super strength usually comes with a sculpted physique so I probably wouldn't be bothered by going topless. Even if it didn't come with a sculpted physique it wouldn't be long before I'd be nice and sculpted anyway. I imagine being an emissary for a an ancient god keeps you busy.

A secret identity is out of the question since the wings can't be hidden for the long term. You can wear a mask but unless you withdraw completely from your original life, the enemies you eventually accumulate will know who your loved ones are and go after them.

I'd have to have a secret identity since I would be obliged as the emissary of Ra to fight for justice. I'd wear a face hiding helmet instead of a mask and cowl. Alternatively I could do like Birdman did and pass some of my power onto a sidekick. Preferably a woman so we can maintain a romantic liaison. That way if we don't maintain secret identities at least we can protect each other and we can help each other protect out other loved ones.

Okay I'm getting too hung up on the secret identity thing. Given that I'm solar powered I'd live in an aviary or at least a large solarium nestled in a mountain. I'd have to maximize my exposure to sunlight. I'd probably equip my aviary/solarium with ultraviolet lights in hopes that it would act as artificial sunlight and help keep me charged at night or whatever kind of light it is that they use to treat Seasonal Affective Disorder. Heck in my attempts to keep myself absorbing sunlight at night I'd probably come up with some new therapy for that disease.

In terms of how I'd administer justice I might offer my services to intelligence communities on a freelance basis. I'd probably establish some kind of ties with the United Nations. With limits of course. Politics are politics no matter the country involved and I wouldn't want my power misused.

When I think about it. What would be the definition of justice? Would I be compelled by Ra to destroy a fishing boat owned by a major corporation because it leaves no fish for food for the village who sold it it's fishing rights not realizing the consequences. Or would I be compelled to squash a rebellion if said village tried to drive off the boats so they can have food to eat because they entered into a contract and must now honor their end of it? Would I be compelled to take out the CEO of a company because their company's business practice led to the death of people. Heady stuff Justice is. It would be something I would have to play by ear.

Thanks for reading.

If I was Hellboy

Background

Hellboy is the demonic off spring of the demon Azzael and the witch Sarah Hughes. He lay dormant in the castle in which he was conceived until summoned by Grigori Rasputin. As with all evil plans in a character's origin story, Rasputin's plan went wrong and Hellboy or Anung Un Rama (his true name) ended up appearing in a different area then expected and was discovered by Trevor Bruttenholm who raised him as his own son and helped mold him into the hero he is today.

Description

Hellboy is a large (7 feet tall, 400 lbs), muscular red demon with horns and all and a thick powerful tail. His right hand from his forearm up is a larger, textured stone forearm and hand with three fingers and magical runes all over them.

Powers and Paraphernalia

Among many supernatural features he has from being a demon Hellboy has impressive superhuman strength and is said to be able to lift 10 tons from the ground to over his head but his limit isn't really known. He is capable of uprooting a tree and throwing it at an opponent as well as being able to throw around opponents who weigh in excess of 500 lbs. Aside from his super strength he has the mandatory resistance to injury commensurate with that strength and can take severe beatings by large monsters receiving only minor injuries. He has charged someone using an MG-42 machine gun taking its bullets directly to his chest and was still able to get close enough to destroy it. His stamina is also greater than human permitting him to fight for hours at a time. He is also capable of adapting to hostile environments after some time and exposure.

His primary defence is his supernatural healing ability permitting him to recover from injuries that would be fatal to a human being such as a sword through the chest. Unlike in the movie he's not immune to fire but his healing rate is so quick that sometimes it seams that way. He is also noted to have a super human sense of site permitting him to see things further away than a normal unaided human can. He also has an enhanced sense of smell that he can use to track and locate targets whose scent he has acquired.

His aging process is different than a normal human. He started off by aging faster than normal but when he hit maturity he seems to have stopped aging all together.

Aside from his physical attributes he has an innate understanding for ancient and magical languages.

His right hand is the "Right Hand of Doom" with is in fact the right hand and forearm of the angel Anum. Although it is an incredibly fantastic hand to hand combat weapon its main ability is to unlock the prison of the Ogdru Jahad and control them once they're released.

Despite his powers Hellboy is vulnerable to magical control from spells and rituals using his true name or those meant to control the Right Hand of Doom. The Right Hand also comes with another problem. It's size and strength makes it difficult to use delicate, modern devices. Although he's right handed he uses his left hand to perform most of his "normal" tasks.

Aside from his natural powers he tends to carry a number items with including magical charms and holy relics as well as modern military items like guns and grenades.

If I was Hellboy

Instead of being a fake demon like with Darkoth the Death Demon, in this case I'd be a real demon...well a half-demon anyway. I'd live that up. I wouldn't shave back my horns like Hellboy does. I'd want the full effect. I would then find myself a small town and strike a deal with its representatives and offer it my services in return for anonymity and tribute. My services would consist of keeping wild animals out of the town, driving off "dangerous" strangers, finding people who are lost, basically using my powers in the towns service as long as they maintain their part of the bargain.

I'm just not a bad guy at heart. I love helping people. I'm no one's fool though. That's why I would charge a tribute. I wouldn't want people thinking I'm some kind of push over and I don't believe supernatural intervention should be done without a price. I don't necessarily mean financially. I just mean that if you have supernatural intervention instead of doing something yourself there should be a consequence so that you appreciate what has been done for you.

In my role as protector demon I'd probably go around naked as well. When you have cloven hooves and a big tail what would you wear anyway? Of course I'm sure someone in the town would be handy with a needle and thread and could make me some clothes. Hell I'm sure someone would offer it just to keep me from being naked. Yeah probably.

I'd most likely live in a basement somewhere so I can hide while "friendly" strangers are around. I'm sure it would be one of the requirements in the contract between me and the town. I'd make sure a clause in the contract would define nighttime as my "time to prowl". That's probably when most of the towns people would be getting in trouble anyway. "Mr. Demon my child snuck out can you bring her home for me please. I think she's with Billy down at Miller's pond." Then I'd sneak up on the two and scare the snot out of them then when they's calmed down let the daughter know that her parents are looking for her. Although I'd be really surprised if someone asked a seven foot tall demon to go looking for their daughter who snuck out at night.

Thanks for reading.

If I was Impala

I'm referring to the Pre-Crisis of Infinite Earth's version of the character. He's one of those characters whose conversion to the Post crisis continuity that doesn't really capture my imagination.

Background

While he was alive in either continuity M'Bulaze was an optimistic and apparently politically minded Zulu warrior who seems to have discovered one day that he could out run and out jump the impala, the animal after which he named himself. He was later recruited by Dr. Mist into his Global Guardians.

Description

M'Bulaze was a tall and athletic Zulu who wore what would appear to be traditional Zulu warrior garb. I'm no expert on the Zulu but I'll go with that description.

Powers

M'Bulaze is said to be able to out run and out jump the impala. The average impala can run at 50 mph and can jump 30 feet across and 8 feet high. Since He is said to be able to jump 20 feet high then all things being equal I'm going to assume based on that he can jump 75 feet across and run at 125 mph. How long he can run for is unknown but he has kept up with the Flash who relies almost exclusively on his running abilities to get around. However he did acknowledge that the Flash was holding back on his behalf. All that to say is that he can probably run at his "cruising" speed for several hours before needing to rest. How long he can sprint for I don't know.

As I do with most of these characters I assume they have the requisite secondary powers that lets them use there powers without hurting themselves out of hand. So I assume M'Bulaze has at least a better than normal reaction time and coordination when running or jumping and probably some enhanced resistance to injury so he doesn't kill himself or seriously injure himself if he trips at top speeds or if he doesn't land quite right.

If I was Impala

Running at super speed and super leaping is a fun little set of super powers but what do you do with it? You become a professional athlete. What else are you going to do? I mean you can become a cop. It would help to be really fast and mobile to catch fleeing criminals. Of course you could join the military too. You make a great weapon delivery system. You can get your weapon in place before your target could be ready. However like I said before, I'm not really a violent guy. I prefer to enjoy the thrill of the speed of the run and the short "flight" of the super leap.

When I say I'd be a pro-athlete I'm thinking soccer. You get to run around and jump over people to get to the goal and the field is so long and wide. Also I'm taking into account that I'd likely have super human strength in my legs so my kicks should be more than professional caliber. As a side benefit it would satisfy my competitive side and it would help me keep my stamina up. Of course with super running and super leaping I'm sure I'd find ways of keeping my stamina up just because it would be fun doing it.

When I think about it I could have used having Impala's powers as my solution to my Spring Heeled Jack as superhero dilemma instead of the Oz formula solution. I would just have to put on a weird mask and dress up like a "gentlemen" and I'd be set. Now mind you since I'm on this train of thought I'd probably carry two guns with me. A couple of automatic hand guns. Probably spring mounted blades in my boots and up my sleeves to go with it. That would be pretty cool. Evil doers beware. But it's not really my style. If I'm going to take up arms I'd do it as a cop or a soldier. If I was going to be altruistic with these powers I'd spend my time running along the highway looking for stranded people and bringing them gas for there cars or running a spare tire back to them or in the very least bring them food and water until help arrives.

Like I said I think this is a really cool power set but I don't know if it's the kind of life changer that others I've written about are.

Thanks for reading

If I had Jack O' Lantern's Magical Fairy Lantern

Since there are several comic book characters named Jack O' Lantern I'll take this opportunity to specify that I'm referring to Dan Cormac of the DC Universe, member of the Global Guardians.

Background

The magical fairy lantern of Jack O' Lantern was a magical gift of the fairy queen Maeve because of his kindness to fairies in general such as allowing a leprechaun he got to go free without taking its pot of gold and his friendship with the Fir Dhearga (a type of fairy) Fergus.

Description

The magical lantern is a dark purple, spherical lantern including a handle to carry it. It has eyes like a Hallowe'en Jack O'Lantern but lacks their nose and mouth.

Powers

The fairy lantern gives it's user the power to duplicate any effect the Irish fairy folk can do. This includes but probably not limited to the following powers: flight, flame projection (normal or faerie-fire), teleportation (self and others), super strength, the ability to create fog, shadows, and illusions. It also can be used for low-level telekinesis such as controlling small objects or to induce sleep (normal or magical). The Lantern can also create or dispel powerful localized weather effects. It can also produce blinding flashes of light and personal forcefields as well as having the ability to permit its user to temporarily duplicate him or herself (it is however difficult and strenuous to perform). It can also permits its user to shrink him or herself or others and can imprison shrunken targets in itself (it contains a small pocket dimension for just such an occasion).

Its user can telekinetically control it even when it's not in his or her hand, which allows him or her to summon it to him or her. He or she can encase the lantern in faerie-fire and hurl it at opponents, calling it back to his or her hand afterwards.

I'm going to assume it can also be used to shed like light a regular lantern.

The power of the lantern is weakest at midday and at its strongest at midnight. Also the lantern can only be used by the person it is given to.

If I had Jack O' Lantern's Magical Fairy Lantern

If I had the Jack O' Lantern's magical Fairy Lantern I'd start by doing search and rescue. I know it's not that creative but if you have a lantern the most obvious thing is to use it at night or in dark places to explore or to find things. If I find lost people I would just shrink them down and store them in the lantern until I get them to safety and then I'd set them free. Of course I could just stay with them until more people come and find them by following the big illusory sign I make pointing out where we are.

During the winter I'd patrol the highways and backroads looking for people who are lost or stranded. In the "cold, cold north" death is only a few hours a way if you're not prepared. I can see myself flying along in the dark night sky using the lantern as a spotlight to find any unlucky travellers. I love travelling the highway at night. It would be especially cool if I could fly.

It wouldn't be long before I become the crazy "old guy" who lives on a small island in the middle of a lake who offers his magical services for a fee. "We need to make sure the weather is nice for our wedding day. Well for a 'donation' that guy who lives in the middle of the lake will make sure of it." Then I'd stand vigil with my lantern for the day making sure the weather was clear.

Now I would be neglectful if I didn't use "Fairy Power" to do Fairy things. You know, use the lantern's illusory powers to make people think I've turned them purple or put to straight guys to sleep and then place them so it looks like they're kissing then teleport them to a place full of people then wake them up again. Yeah I know immature but I don't care. Fairies are known for their "playful" mischief and why should I break such a fine tradition.

Hallowe'en would quickly become my favorite holiday. The least I would do is walk around pretending to be THE Jack O' Lantern. The man not good enough for Heaven but not bad enough for Hell, condemned to walk the Earth as a lantern carrying ghost. If I caught people doing really bad things I'd use the lantern's many powers to set them straight. Imagine some kids stealing candy finding themselves enveloped in shadow while an image of a headless figure swears to punish them for eternity unless they return the candy.

I think it would come down to me being "He who lights the way". When people are lost, the lantern and I would be there to light the way. Both metaphorically and literally.

Note: The data for this posting comes from the DC Nation web site.

If I was Brian Davis

Background

Brian Davis is an "Evolved Human" from the "Heroes Universe". Not much is known about his history but his telekinetic ability is stolen from him by Sylar who kills him and is later mimicked by Peter Petrelli who later has it stolen from him by his father Arthur. What is known about him is that he was afraid of his power and was looking for a way to get rid of them which is how he got caught up in Sylar's clutches.

Appearance

Brian was a blond, glasses wearing frumpy man.

Powers

Brian Davis was a telekinetic who never developed his power. However by seeing Sylar and Peter's use of his telekinetic power we can get a sense of just how powerful he would have been if he had.

Sylar has used it to shield himself from gun fire, perform successful brain surgery and supplement his strength and leaping ability. He can use it to manipulate people like puppets or manipulate dozens of objects at once and use them as projectiles. He has also used it to support himself off of the ground so he could quietly sneak up on people. His most powerful use of Brian's telekinesis was when he flipped over a F.B.I. prison transport and then stopped it cold as it skidded towards him.

Peter's most taxing use of it was when his future self tore open a secured vault door which seems to have been pushing the upper limits of the power since it caused him to bleed through his nose. On the fine control side under future Sylar's tutelage he was able to repair a broken pocket watch by use of telekinesis alone.

Both have used the power to restrain people.

If I was Brian Davis

Well, firstly I would train like mad with my telekinesis and if you know me well enough you know I would get good at using it as a means of personal flight. Even if I couldn't fly cross country with it I would make sure I can use it as a quick escape method or to carry me over hostile terrain. To satisfy my sense of drama I would learn to use it to simulate water walking and air walking.

Also I have watched far too many cartoons and movies about martial arts not to find a way to incorporate it into my martial arts skills including but not limited to imitating techniques performed in them. I'd have my own version of the Kamehameha Wave from Dragon Ball, the Buddha Palm from Kung Fu Hustle or Darth Vader's choke hold from Star Wars.

On the non-violent side I would once again be using a super power to express my art. I would learn to draw and sculpt telekinetically. If not for the sheer joy of art then to refine my fine control of the power. There is a lot of clay in the town I live in and especially at my sister's cottage. I could practice to my hearts content. Not only that I tend not to use pencils below a certain size. Learning to draw with telekinesis would save me money in pencils in the long run.

On Hallowe'en I'd probably often go as some kind of superhero. Superman for sure in the first year. In the following years I might go as a wizard or an angel or a demon. Anything that could fly and move things with their minds. But that first year I would go as Superman and really play it up. I'd use my telekinetic power to simulate his super strength, invulnerability, flight and super breadth.

All the fun aside I wouldn't wear a costume like a super hero. I would definitely be useful and use my telekinesis to stop crimes I was exposed to. I would do it subtly so I wouldn't be discovered doing it. I would cause improbable but not impossible things to happen like fleeing criminals might find themselves tripping over their feet or a victim struggling against their attacker might hit them harder than they could believe possible. Okay I may occasionally dress like a magician from time to time just for kicks and maybe to perform magic for charity or for some extra cash but not in any serious sense.

Thanks for reading.

If I Had Taken the OZ Formula

Background

OZ is a formula invented at OsCorp owned by Norman Osborn (of the Marvel Comics Ultimate continuity). It was created in an attempt to reproduce the Super Soldier serum that created Captain America. It has been responsible for a number of people developing super powers in that Comic Book Reality. Spiderman, Spider Woman, Scorpion, Tarantula and The deformed Spiderman Clone have their powers due to Spiderman being bitten by a spider who was exposed to the OZ formula. Doctor Octopus also derived his powers from the "Oz Explosion" however his powers are completely different from anyone exposed to OZ.

Powers

Although it can be "modified" to give different powers as with Spiderman, Oz typically bestows its recipient with the ability to transform into a monstrous goblin-like creature. The goblin form bestows on it's taker super human physical attributes including super stamina, agility and reflexes but most notably super strength and healing and the ability to project fire. Norman Osborn could roughly lift 10 tons from the ground to over his head. His son Harry might be even stronger. Harry also has armor-like skin that can repel bullets and he can regenerate lost skin and teeth in moments. As far as fire projection goes Norman threw fireballs that he generated while Harry could project fire blast from his hands and even cause himself to burst into flame without harm to himself. Wether or not Mary Jane has any fiery powers remains to be seen.

Although never mentioned I assume since they all seem to have glowing eyes that the goblin form also comes equipped with cat-like night vision.

The goblin form at least for males is about 7 feet tall and weighs half a ton. I'm not sure the size for females but according to Mary-Jane's listing in the Marvel wiki she didn't change size but I'm assuming that was an error. The goblin form's coloring varies from individual to individual. Norman Osborn is green skinned with feral eyes while his son Harry is yellow skin with red eyes and Mary Jane Watson is covered in red hair and also has feral eyes). Although Mary Jane is covered in red hair the male goblins seem devoid of any hair. Regardless of gender the goblin form has a demonic appearance including horns, claws, fangs and pointed ears.

Oz can cause mental illness in some people as it did with Norman Osborn and Otto Octavius but it hasn't so far in anyone else. It could be that these two men were on the verge of these problems and the exposure to Oz was just the push needed to bring the illness to full bloom.

I should note that while people who are exposed to unmodified OZ can become a monstrous goblin creature Otto Octavius instead gained the ability to control metal with his mind and possibly enhanced intelligence without any need to transform instead of also becoming a goblin.

If I had Taken the Oz Formula

The Oz formula is my answer to my Spring Heeled Jack posting problem. I couldn't find enough information on the comic book versions of him but the Oz formula gives me a solution. Spring Heeled Jack was a figure of the real world's 1800s Britain who was said to be a demonic creature or someone disguised as a demon noted primarily for his super human leaping ability. According to later accounts he also had clawed hands and the ability breadth out a blueish-white flame. If I had taken the Oz Formula I would assume the role of a super hero version of him.

I'm not sure exactly how I would appear in goblin form but going with the theme of taking on the coloring of different goblins from Marvel's mainstream reality I'm going to take the coloring of Menace. So I would be a greyish color with yellow eyes. She also has pronounced horns so my horns would also be more than just small protrusions like Norman and Harry but useable as weapons like Mary Jane's seemed to have. I'm going to assume that I would have some fire based power as well and since I'm going with the Spring Heeled Jack theme I'm going with the ability to channel a fiery blast through my mouth. Not fiery breadth but a fiery blast that just happens to be focused from my mouth.

Would I wear a costume I don't know. Given the size change that occurs transforming into an Oz goblin, I don't know if I would even bother to wear clothes in that form. Changing would be a pain in the ass but mind you since I would be going out at night on purpose to patrol I could take the time to have some kind of outfit made. However if I have to transform on the spot I'm just going to have to go naked or maybe wear some kind of really stretchy material.

The point is I'm going out as "the leaping bane of crime" or "Dark Jack" as I would call myself. Mind you where I live the crimes are mostly boot-legging and the occasional theft. Mostly misdemeanours rather than actual violent crime that require superhuman intervention. I would really be spending most of my time intervening in human animal interaction or finding people lost in the woods. At best I'd be "scaring people straight".

Of course, I could move to a more urban area where there is more violent crime. The thing with looking like a monstrous goblin is that you're going to invoke hostility and if your in an environment with higher rates of violence then it might not matter what I intend. I'll have to fight more than I care to. Since I wouldn't be invulnerable I would have to transform into my human form to protect myself from those who might decide to hunt me down.

Of course I could take videos of myself and post them on Youtube and claim I have footage of the actual Spring Heeled Jack. It's a good way to make money. Like if had Sasquatch's powers I could claim to be an expert and get invited to speak at conferences and write books and make documentaries. That would be awesome. I'd still patrol at night though. The footage would have to look spontaneous and I like helping people out.

Thanks for reading.

If I was Elastigirl

Background

Elastigirl or Hellen Parr maiden name Truax is the wife of Mister Incredible and a formidable super heroine. After a long hiatus due to a ban on Super activity due to an event where Mister Incredible accidentally hurts someone she returned to full time Super Heroing with her family. However during that time she became accustom to the "quiet" life of a home maker raising her three children but she didn't seem to have to hard of time getting back into the role of hero.

Description

Helen is a auburn haired woman with brown eyes. She wears a tight fitting red costume with a black mask, trunks, gloves and thigh high boots. The symbol on her chest is a yellow lower case "i" on a black circular field with yellow trim.

Powers and Paraphernalia

Helen has the ability to stretch her body up to a full distance of three hundred feet or compress it to a minimum thickness of one millimetre. She can also shape her body into simple shapes like when she shaped herself into a boat to keep her and her kids from drowning. Apparently she can keep the shape for an extended period of time at least under duress.

The "rubbery" nature of her body permits her to use her stretching abilities to leap eighty feet or throw objects with super human force. The rubbery nature of her body also makes her super flexible and provides a great degree of resistance to impact. When the airplane she was piloting was shot down the exploding missiles only knocked her out for a brief moment. It also permits her to support several tons of weight for long distances with considerable strain but with no permanent damage.

Her super suit is designed to work with her super powers as well as being nearly indestructible.

If I was Elasticgirl

This is a power set where I would have a lot of fun with. Hide and seek would be awesome. I would stretch and compress myself into rain gutters, hide behind posts, in chimneys or hide under a rug.

This is a great power set for exploration and discovery. Firstly parcour becomes my new hobby, brachiation becomes another one. Parcour is that sport where you see people running around in cities jumping over barriers and jumping off of ledges. Brachiation is the primate art of swinging from tree limb to tree limb with their arms. I wouldn't worry about falling since I could either mold myself into a bouncing ball or flatten myself into manta like glider. That would probably be another new hobby of mine. Slingshotting myself into the air then shaping myself into a "glider" and see how far I can fly. Oh my God!! Fishing would be awesome if I shaped myself into a boat. Just lay my fishing gear and cooler on me and float along maybe have someone with me.

This of course raises romantic implications. I think you can imagine the most obvious R-rated modifications I could make to myself to please a partner but I was also thinking about shaping into a hammock and having my girl lay on me while I envelope her in my arms. We can have romantic boat rides. Okay mind is wandering back to sex again but again I'll let you guys imagine what a stretchy shape changer can do during sex.

Okay now back to exploring. There are all kinds of places to get into in Northern Ontario: mountains, old mine shafts, natural caves, huge trees, ravines, rivers, old logging camps and forts, etc... Like with the Spiderman 2099 posting I wouldn't have to worry about wild animals. Being stretchy offers protection from a lot of harm and I could just runaway if I wanted to but if I had to I could stretch myself out to seem bigger. A common ploy in the animal kingdom.

You know as goofy as stretching powers seem to be after having given this some thought, I've come to the conclusion that it's a very practical power. I could have gone the same route with Elastigirl as I went with Mister Incredible. I wouldn't have to worry about falling off of roofs when I was working up high and I wouldn't need a ladder at all to get up and down from roofs or to haul up equipment. I'd have to use tools though. I could also pull cars out ditches or snow banks and a lot of the other stuff I would as Mister Incredible.

Thanks for reading.

If I was Mister Incredible

Background

Mister Incredible or Robert "Bob" Parr was foremost among supers of his generation. After a long hiatus due to a ban on Super activity due to an event where he accidentally hurts someone he returned to full time Super Heroing with his family.

Description

Bob is a tall, thickly muscled, blond man with receding hair and blue eyes. He wears a tight fitting red costume with a black mask, trunks gloves and boots. The symbol on his chest is a yellow lower case "i" on a black circular field with yellow trim.

Powers and Paraphernalia

Bob has super strength making him so strong that even being out of shape he had to make use of locomotives (125 to 240 tons on average) and rail cars (roughly 30 tons a piece) to provide enough weight to get himself back into shape. His strength also parlays into super leaping, super running and super swimming abilities.

Along with super strength he has super human resistance to harm permitting him to survive things like multi-story falls, collisions with trains, breaking through brick walls. Despite his great resistance to harm he can be cut by super hard metals propelled by a suitable force. Also although he is hard to hurt he does feel pain.

He also has super keen senses but the only one really displayed in the movie is his enhanced hearing permitting him to hear the faint beeping of a bomb through a thick wall.

His agility also borders on the super human.

His super suit is designed to survive the wear and tear of his super powers.

If I Was Mister Incredible

In this last week I've been doing a lot of intense manual labor and I've come to think of good uses for Mister Incredibles powers. Having fallen off of a roof on a previous occasion mixed with my fear of heights I know I'd feel a lot better off knowing I could fall from the roof that I'm on and not likely to be hurt no matter how high I fell from. Keep in mind I do residential work so I wouldn't be falling from higher than 50 feet. I wouldn't need a ladder half of the time. I could easily jump up on and down from the roof I'd be working on. That alone would save a lot of time.

There's a lot of tools I wouldn't need either. I could just use my thumb to drive nails in faster than a nail gun. I wouldn't need a wrench my super strong fingers could grip things normal fingers couldn't. I'd probably break a wrench anyway applying too much force to it. Also I salivate at thinking of lifting several packets of shingles in one shot and leaping up to a roof top with it instead of grabbing a bundle and forcing myself to drag it up to the roof I'm shingling. Keep in mind a bundle of shingles weighs 70lb. Sure I would be able to lift more but then I would fall through the roof if I carried more than 4 or 5 bundles at a time when I jumped on the roof. Plywood is only so strong.

I wouldn't limit myself to construction though. I'd start a company and offer a full range of services. Landscaping comes to mind. I could pull trees out the ground with my bare hands although I would be more careful than that and carry it over to it's new location. Pulling boulders out of the ground and crushing them into gravel is an easy way to make a driveway. I'd have to get specially made tools to survive the use of my strength but I'd love to landscape without using heavy machinery and still get done within a reasonable amount of time. My uncle would have to love to have me around when he dug out his basement a few years ago. I'm sure I'd know more people with in-ground swimming pools if I was as strong as Mister Incredible.

When the main thrust of your powers is super strength and durability you become a very useful person. When you're as strong as Mister Incredible you're very, very, very useful. Your neighbor's car is stuck in the snow or in a ditch, well you pull it out. A transport over turns you go and right it. A transport's brakes fail, you stop it. A friend needs help moving...well if you have super strength get used to that scenario. It's as bad as owning a pick up truck. If there's a bear going through the old widow down the road's trash you go over and pick up "Yogi" and carry him away.

I think if I was Mister Incredible I'd just be the local "Mr. Fixit". Every day somebody would come knocking at my door asking me for a favor. I wouldn't mind though. I like being useful to people.

Thanks for reading.

If I was Green Fury

I'm going with the Pre-Crisis on Infinite Earth's version of the character. I'm assuming that most of you reading this know what the Crisis On Infinite Earths was but just to remind you it was a twelve issue comic book series from DC comics that was the source of the restructuring of the whole DC universe in the mid-eighties eliminating all of the various alternate "Earth's" that appeared through the decades of comic book stories. All of the Superheroes ended up on one Earth so a lot of characters histories had to be changed to accommodate it.

Background

Beatriz de Costa is the President of Brazil's branch of Wayne Industries who gains her magical flame powers through Brazilian mysticism. More specifically when she was born the "sky spirits" chose her to be the recipient of great magical power. The shaman who was an agent of these sky spirits taught her how to use her powers via telepathy when she was fifteen. In her first adventure she confronted a mind controlled Superman. Later she became a member of the Global Guardians a group of magically powered superheroes from around the world. During the first adventure of the team they helped Superman thwart the resurrection of a powerful and ancient wizard who she was instrumental in destroying.

Appearance

Beatriz is an extremely attractive Brazilian woman with long dark hair and "smoldering" dark eyes. When assuming her Green Fury persona her hair and eyes become green. Mind you her eyes glow green whenever she uses her "dazzling sparks". Her costumes are usually a variety of shades of green.

Powers

Primarily her power is magical fire breadth. She can exhale a magical green fire that can either burn or freeze a target. I don't know the maximum temperature of her breadth is but it is described as white hot which from what I can find means up to 6,300 degrees Fahrenheit which can melt apparently any metal. At it's coldest it reaches absolute zero which is -273.15 degrees Fahrenheit the temperature at which essentially all molecular motion stops meaning everything freezes at that temperature. So if the cold aspect of it is so impressive then the heat level has to be pretty impressive too. She expected her maximum heat to drive away Superman so it has to be hot.

Two odd features of the flame is that one she can control it enough to cause it to coil around her and cause her to assume her heroic appearance and costume and secondly it can be directed toward the ground and propel her in flight. How fast I don't know. Also in case you're thinking, "Damn that sounds awkward" well let me tell you how she does this. She exhales the flame through her nostrils to fly. Yep... "Snot Rocketry" or the less vulgar "Nasal Rocketry". Since this is her main mode of transportation I assume it's at least as practical as jumping into a car and heading off to her chosen destination. She claimed capable of being able to fly from her office in Brasilia to a forgotten pyramid "deep in the jungle" but Superman insisted on carrying her "because they had no time to waste". I assume that when she is using her flame powers that she has super human respiratory powers permitting her to expel breadth for long periods of time as well as a super strong head (especially nose) and neck since they have to support her body while flying. I'm also going to assume that she is protected from the effects of her powers like not burning or freezing her lips off while expelling fire or even burning herself in general while she's flying.

"Her green flame had the magical ability to heal and repair her costume after a battle" although I couldn't find any depictions of these powers. I take this sentence to mean that she can heal herself with the flame since it is said in a way to imply that she can "fix" herself as well as her costume. Also I take it that way since the flame is capable altering her and her clothes if only to alther the color of her hair and eyes and her clothes into her various costumes.

Her other fire related power is her "Dazzling Sparks" that she projects from her "smoldering" eyes that permit her to create virtually any illusion she chooses. She commonly uses it to disguise the fact that she's transforming into her superhero identity when she is out in the open. Another tactic is for her to use it to make people see Beatriz and Green Fury in the same place at the same time so they don't suspect that she is Green Fury.

If I was Green Fury

If I do nothing else I'd use the flame breadth to blow fire out of my nose to express my anger or my disdain. After that grows old I'd become a fire fighter. I'd put out fires using cold fire and I'd use my nasal rocketry to fly to people who need a rescue from upper floors of buildings or who are trapped in trees or whatever other high purchases they may find themselves stranded on. The healing properties of the flame would permit me to fix myself up after a hard day's work fighting fires.

It would start something like this, "Oh My God! There's a fire!!" I'd use my fire breadth to rocket myself upwards so I can find where the fire is then I'd go over there. Depending on how huge the fire was I would just let go with cold fire and start extinguishing the fire as best as I can. If it was really huge I would look for people who need to be rescued first and then go and rescue them clearing the way with the cold flame. If possible I would use the "hot fire" to burn possible combustibles to prevent the fire from spreading further by cutting off it's fuel supply. Then I would do what I can to get people to safety. After getting some experience under my belt I would approach a fire chief and show him or her what I could do and see if I can become a fire fighter.

Then there's the "Dazzling Sparks". As a visual artist and a story teller. I believe I would have a lot of fun with that. Imagine me telling some children a story about Santa Claus as little hologram of Santa Claus and the other characters act it out in an equally holographic setting. Alternatively if someone was trying to describe to me how they wanted to decorate a room I could make an illusory overlay of the room to help me the person I'm talking with better visualize what they're planning.

You know when I think of it I could really expand on the whole Santa Claus thing. First use the Dazzling Sparks to make myself look like Santa Claus. Enter the room bearing gifts. Make sure a head of time that there is a fire place and that it's unlit and tell the children that I can't give out the gifts until we have a nice fire to open them by and blow into the fire place and ignite the logs. After the gifts are opened I would tell the kids good bye and walk outside, wave good bye and use the sparks to make it look like I left ridding in a sleigh pulled by reindeer.

Thanks for reading.

If I was Jack Jack

All of you who have seen the Incredibles know who I'm talking about. The previously believed powerless bundle of joy belonging to Robert and Helen Parr otherwise known as Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl.

Background

Jack Jack is a super powered baby who on the same day he manifested his powers managed to almost drive his babysitter to a nervous breakdown and to escape the clutches of the villain Syndrome.

Description

Jack Jack is a chubby little baby who is otherwise bald except for a lock of red hair growing from the top of his head.

Powers

The main thrust of baby Jack Jack's powers seem to be "shape changing". So far he has demonstrated the ability to transform into a fiery form, a metal form and a monstrous looking form with at least "super baby" strength (he was able to tear Syndrome's rocket boot in two with little effort in this form which would be impressive even for an adult) and most likely enhancing all his other physical attributes as well. He was definitely quicker and more coordinated in monster form not to mention the big scary mouth full of sharp teeth.

A part from being able to alter his body he has demonstrated at least a form of self-levitation which permits him to float through the air as though it were water that will most likely evolve into the power of flight. He can also fire "lasers" from his eyes, pass through solid objects and teleport.

If I was Jack Jack

Just contemplating what I would do if I was Jack Jack was fun. I was out for a walk seeing what mischief I could get into with the little guys powers. The first thing I was thinking of was, "Poof now I'm on that guys roof and poof now I'm on top of that church and once again poof I'm on the street corner." Walking further down the street there was a dog barking at me and I thought, "Roooaarrrr!" I would run up to it in monster form and give it a big roar displaying all my sharp monstrous teeth and sharp claws. After the dog was cowed I'd fly off laughing.

Then of course I thought about other things I could do. Halloween is coming and that ability to float and pass through solid objects sure would be fun to use. Disguise myself as ghost and scare the snot out of people who are trick or treating and to really climax my fun if I caught people stealing candy I'd sneak up on them floating and yell, "BOO!!" and explode into flame. That would probably really scare some people straight. That would scare me for sure. It would be pretty awesome to reach your hand out through the closed door and hand little kids candy. In case you're wondering what I would do with the "laser vision" ask yourself this, "how else would he carve the pumpkins?"

All the fun aside, if I had Jack Jack's powers I'd join the military. This is a case of once again where the powers really require that you do something special with yourself. You'd need to learn how to deal with difficult situations and get some life or death combat under your belt so you would have a better understanding of what it takes to kill someone so you don't do it accidentally not to mention how good of a feel for the extent of your powers you would get by using them in a war zone. I always wanted to know just how protected I would be if I could transform into living, mobile metal. Plus like I said with the Super Suit from the Greatest American Hero show you really do need to know who the players are in the world and what's going on it.

I would only join the military for the mandatory minimum time. After having that experience under my belt I'd become a private detective so I could continue to use my power to protect and help people and make some money while I'm doing it. Not to seem to greedy I'd also go out on patrol vigilante style. Helping people out on the spur of the moment like someone getting mugged or raped or caught in a fire or about to get run over by a car. These are the kind of powers that would really inspire me to go out there and help people out superhero style.

Thanks for reading.