Friday, October 1, 2010

If I was Jack Jack

All of you who have seen the Incredibles know who I'm talking about. The previously believed powerless bundle of joy belonging to Robert and Helen Parr otherwise known as Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl.

Background

Jack Jack is a super powered baby who on the same day he manifested his powers managed to almost drive his babysitter to a nervous breakdown and to escape the clutches of the villain Syndrome.

Description

Jack Jack is a chubby little baby who is otherwise bald except for a lock of red hair growing from the top of his head.

Powers

The main thrust of baby Jack Jack's powers seem to be "shape changing". So far he has demonstrated the ability to transform into a fiery form, a metal form and a monstrous looking form with at least "super baby" strength (he was able to tear Syndrome's rocket boot in two with little effort in this form which would be impressive even for an adult) and most likely enhancing all his other physical attributes as well. He was definitely quicker and more coordinated in monster form not to mention the big scary mouth full of sharp teeth.

A part from being able to alter his body he has demonstrated at least a form of self-levitation which permits him to float through the air as though it were water that will most likely evolve into the power of flight. He can also fire "lasers" from his eyes, pass through solid objects and teleport.

If I was Jack Jack

Just contemplating what I would do if I was Jack Jack was fun. I was out for a walk seeing what mischief I could get into with the little guys powers. The first thing I was thinking of was, "Poof now I'm on that guys roof and poof now I'm on top of that church and once again poof I'm on the street corner." Walking further down the street there was a dog barking at me and I thought, "Roooaarrrr!" I would run up to it in monster form and give it a big roar displaying all my sharp monstrous teeth and sharp claws. After the dog was cowed I'd fly off laughing.

Then of course I thought about other things I could do. Halloween is coming and that ability to float and pass through solid objects sure would be fun to use. Disguise myself as ghost and scare the snot out of people who are trick or treating and to really climax my fun if I caught people stealing candy I'd sneak up on them floating and yell, "BOO!!" and explode into flame. That would probably really scare some people straight. That would scare me for sure. It would be pretty awesome to reach your hand out through the closed door and hand little kids candy. In case you're wondering what I would do with the "laser vision" ask yourself this, "how else would he carve the pumpkins?"

All the fun aside, if I had Jack Jack's powers I'd join the military. This is a case of once again where the powers really require that you do something special with yourself. You'd need to learn how to deal with difficult situations and get some life or death combat under your belt so you would have a better understanding of what it takes to kill someone so you don't do it accidentally not to mention how good of a feel for the extent of your powers you would get by using them in a war zone. I always wanted to know just how protected I would be if I could transform into living, mobile metal. Plus like I said with the Super Suit from the Greatest American Hero show you really do need to know who the players are in the world and what's going on it.

I would only join the military for the mandatory minimum time. After having that experience under my belt I'd become a private detective so I could continue to use my power to protect and help people and make some money while I'm doing it. Not to seem to greedy I'd also go out on patrol vigilante style. Helping people out on the spur of the moment like someone getting mugged or raped or caught in a fire or about to get run over by a car. These are the kind of powers that would really inspire me to go out there and help people out superhero style.

Thanks for reading.

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